Based on a true story

The editor would like it made clear that this is in fact not based on a true story, in that, to the best of our knowledge, no buckethead has actually found a contact lens previously lost due to a strong sneeze. Strictly speaking, it is an amalgamation of disparate events that have probably happened at one time or another, which might more commonly be referred to as fiction.

Adoration

Riddle

Patch Perfect

Thalia Wilts

Feel free to switch the genders in the poem for a different poem, entitled Ego-ectomy

You ain't gonna need anymore advice

Social Commentary

When tackling issues of these magnitudes, the editor feels that the reader deserves some help in understanding the social commentary that probably wasn't clear enough in the densely packed original. Amongst the issues discussed, please note:

• Roman numerals are no longer in use in the alternate dimension, for self-evident reasons
• There are still sales in the alternate dimension, indicating the limited psychological changes that are possible, even upon cyborgization
• The brain on display emphasizes the vanity still inherent in cyborg culture
• Cyborg eyes don't decay, so gaming in the dark is a widespread behavior
• Also, cyborgs can see in the dark anyway
  

gNOMe gNOMe gNOMe

A house of many mansions

The small house